The situation

Last night I received news that has thrown my life into turmoil. I am part of a pre medical group at my school, which provides me with all sorts of opportunities to get involved. Recently we had one of our members tell us about a mission trip to Honduras which sounds amazing considering I am trying to improve my spanish speaking skills as well as actually be involved in medicine. It was originally scheduled to take some place in August, perfect for me because I am not planning on doing anything during that time. I just received an email last night giving information about the trip, and it has now been changed to the beginning of June. This would not usually be a problem for me but I had decided not two days before that I would in fact audition for a musical that I have I very good chance of getting a lead in. The play will take place during the first and second week of june, the exact same time that the trip will take place. This has created a major dilemma because both items are very desirable. This is what I learned about in psychology - the approach approach conflict, two desirable outcomes that one has to choose between. On the one hand, Honduras will be a once in a lifetime experience, who knows if we will have the funds or manpower in the future to pull this off again. On the other hand, this is my last chance to essentially do a musical because next year I will be too old to participate. It is a great play and has many great available parts. So what do I choose, something that will influence my future, or something that gives me joy that I potentially will never be able to experience again? I always end up involved in situations like this and I usually end up choosing something that I regret. That is why this decision is so hard, I don't want to end up making the wrong choice and suffering because of it. Well, the audition is on tuesday, so I have until then to decide.

Another influence on my life is that of buddhism. As I said in the previous post. I am going on a retreat to a buddhist teaching center soon, and I therefore have had to read many books on the subject. I have found buddhism to actually be an interesting practice, one that I may include in my everyday lie after the trip. It involved meditation and knowing yourself as well as the world around you. I find this more desirable than the everyday materialism of the world that I live in. I am thinking of incorporating this into my everyday life, it should provide the balance and serenity I need. I am greatly looking forward to this trip, despite the fact that it is in Colorado! I have been watching the news religiously to find out about the latest snow storms and road/airport closings. I am worried that I will end up having to stay in a hotel in the city while the roads clear because the retreat is up in the mountains. This is an odd realization because I have never had this kind of weather trouble before coming from California. Getting there is not the problem, I am worried about closings on the return trip. My semester at college starts the day after I return home. If there are any delays, this could be a big problem. But, I will not worry about that now, there is nothing I can really do about it besides hope for the best. I will probably write about this experience in my next blog, I am so excited!